Freund-Null Gestalt Xenophobia

At 2.30 p.m. on October 7th 2004 macrobiotic authorities (an intern trained in the mechanics of administrating the space, and a manager/ facilitator/technician) acting on behalf of the Advisory Council of the Project Room Treaty Organization sealed off the boundary between what became officially known as Space No. LS87KD38400 and Edinburgh, leaving only one official entry-point open. A special bit of paper pinned on a cork board said that these measures had been taken in agreement with a decision by the Advisory Council of the Project Room Treaty Organization; that they would remain in force until the conclusion of the 04-05 programme. This was the beginning of a developmental hosting project commonly known to the world as the birthplace of freunde-null gestalt xenophobia.

To enter the oneiric space/archive/meeting room, which was designed by architects, specially invited guests had to go through complex door/liminal threshold entry procedures using an alternative counterexperiential space-time map of historically opposed territories which more often than not took them to the wrong end of Princes Street. Having finally located the door, the exchange of a fixed sum of money into Euros and back into Sterling again was followed by the unexplained retention of passports, cameras, baseball caps, ruffling of the hair, Chinese burns and other kinds of harassment designed to undermine the axis of objectivisation. On entering the project space VIPs had to linger for some time in a surgery waiting room / linear advancement of knowledge suspension vessel and try not to stare at each other too literally. 180 minutes would pass before a series of anti-dialogues on emptiness would ensue between the visitors and those acting on behalf of the Advisory Council of the Project Room Treaty Organization. Then it was time to fill out forms, one for each 5 minute episode of the following 90 minutes. The questions were subtly phrased like a slightly salted soup to allow maximum info-maintenance and cross-transferal.

It was then time to enjoy the intimate topography of the infamously gnarled, claustrophobic space. There were no trappings of the ceremonial here, although insuperable resources had been used to ensure a spectacle of power far more complex and subtle than any Baroque edifice. Rumours that the room boasted smooth, white walls nearly 8 feet high; in some places a 10 foot-high atrium window substituted for the wall, fitted with an electronic warning device turned out not to be exaggerated, (although the warning device was entirely a fabrication). Electric lights, designed to illuminate noiselessly, were installed with a deliberate delicacy that masked monumental painful effort. The room was also generously equipped with power points, the true hegemonic purpose of which remained chillingly unannounced (although even a minor excavation of the spatial imaginary revealed that they were there to dare residents to connect with local networks.) Such devoted displays of the latest technological resources, acts of consultation and terror masked the fact that in yesteryear this was once the gay site of a festive Burns Supper. Now swathed in concrete, the ground gave no escape. A cross shaped booby trap was situated in the ceiling warding off those who harboured thoughts of heading for the roof. In the distance the chilling discontinuous rhythmic cacophony of metal being worked into the pale flesh of escapees tore at the visitor's eardrums.

A panel of specially invited research-active cultural managers were here to witness the outcomes of one week residencies, a research and educational tool fundamental to the development of the Project Room Treaty Organization and its hegemonic sphere of influence, a catalytic environment where they were forced at gunpoint to consider the opportunities and problematics of politically engaged practice on the threshold of European Union enlargement. The panel were looking for creative ideas, significant interventions or intercine products with serious practice-led research potential that were in the right phase of development, investment ready and are looking for funding. They were really keen to encourage younger and more creative entrepreneurs to take part to give them the chance to pitch their wares. They pledged to steal the best ideas and sell them to Norway for big Euros.

For residents, the outside world was a mystery about which they knew very little. With the macrobiotic authorities acting on behalf of the Advisory Council of the Project Room Treaty Organization promising equal opportunity in white space and time provision, draconian anti-harassment laws and a neo-liberal tax regime, many feared the unbounded corruption of the outworld. The legacy of political and economic differences over how we experience intimate places, and how our perceptions of space shape our thoughts, memories and dreams has created prejudices and cultural stereotypes on both sides of Space No. LS87KD38400, a phenomenon now known to the world as freunde-null gestalt xenophobia.

This newly published research outcome, which is also available via Bluetooth, does not outline the discursive projects and issues that emerged in the hermetically sealed environment of Space No. LS87KD38400, with its vertical polarity of floor and ceiling, for such discursive projects lie beyond the limits of representation. Documents provided by the macrobiotic authorities acting on behalf of the Advisory Council of the Project Room Treaty Organization are on display and open to scrutiny and speculation investigating the relationship between different policies of promoting transitional cultural bridges. This must be followed by a discussion and drinks.