The year is 1972 on another plane where export products include wax, rubber, tobacco and leather and you are creating an alliance between corporations and the Liberal government in the wild Eastern Frontier where the main victims of the dissimulating power of the deliberation of representation are the Arboreal Cornwalisationists, largely under-utilised naturalists in the extreme south of the country (People’s Republic of Leather) who believe that there is no need for reflection on Machiavellian topiary. As a Silver Lady Space Bigot, who does not take account of the fact that there is no law which can create a site for identification, you must avoid any issues which relate with everyday life your main aim being to provide an opportunity for more young people to join the party. With a total disregard for morality, using magic and violence you seek to destroy the banality of fact and achieve Hampstead.

157

Torpid echoes of ^’s best attributes were the presence of no less than three analogue oscillators, all of them simultaneously available. The third oscillator was normally used for modulation purposes like an LFO, (low frequency oscillator), for the clearing-up literature. ^ had triangular, saw tooth, and three different square waveforms. On oscillator three she had reverse saw tooth instead of triangular-saw tooth in the interests of improving modulation. One waveform could be selected from each oscillator at any one time, but that choice had to be made independently of the other two oscillators, it GIVING too echo. This seemed every bit as exotic to you as space, and only marginally more erotic! Not even the unmasking of Saint Nick and the Tooth Fairy could shake your lust for ^; it took adolescence and the teasing of four relentless siblings with oscillators well endowed with waveform options, to do that. Perhaps it was thinking, but ghosts and dragons, castles and unicorns, still swam in the depths of your soul; and you never tired of hearing her uncle’s stories: ‘Satan has established certain strongholds… His absence seemed a hat-target. He has gone after education and has been very successful in capturing it. Abolish state schools! You know they’re just getting so bad. We need flamed out in the private schools. We need choice.’ Do You:

Improve ^’s triangular-saw tooth in the interests of improving modulation: Turn to 339

Listen to her Uncle’s tales of Napoleonic legend: Turn to 338

158

With grin and a winkling of eye you are invited ‘COME ON DOWN!!!!!!!!! from the radical central calculating unicorn host.  Before you is a faecesocopia, your ‘showcase’:  a double-double-glazing base of windows with a bust of Lionel a Ritchie in the centre.  The case turns for the audience’s entertainment; it bears the legend ‘Discover the Seventeenth London Century!’  You must make an offer under the price of this prize fabulous.  Do you bid:

·         80,000 quhits.

·         100,000 quhits.

159

The unicorn invasion vanquished, you are less vulnerable than the ideology you project. You stoop down for revolution anyway. In principle, the ‘hidden masses’ could be made of little more than drunken gaiety and gross sensuality. This statement is not paradoxical, for ^ wanted to break down the barriers in politics - to make politics more relevant and approachable to young people, to rescue them from historical oblivion which threatens to disappear from their fading minds while still in possession of grandeur. With intervals of study perhaps yet more criminal, you bend down to turn ^ off. “The absence of a pulse appears at first to be a serious omission, but it isn't”, you echo to yourself. The reason why ^s remarks on ontolactic human perception were ignored in enlightenment literature is probably because they incorporate ideas which hold not the slightest appeal within the conceptual framework from which were constructed single oscillators, the closed and the open form, multiplicity and unity, and absolute and relative clarity blazed out in lavish voluptuousness.

·         Turn to 966.

160

In a feverish moment you enter an emblematic giant flea market incorporated of the spacecraft’s main auditorium, wearing your hair like a factomoronic badge of honour. The place is full of tables covered with the old one, and overpriced nick-knacks. On one table you notice the five-headed red night-light, each representing the five points of the pentagram with a picture of Che Guevara (understood as protectionism) in the centre. The peoples are all around the table, and by the time where you push through the night-light he was sold. You ask the elderly woman behind the table and observe, and she remarks that it was a very rare item and that it was of high demand. Do you: 

·         The use of your monkey foot strength to strangulate and murder this evil bitch: Turn to 389

·         Represent the birth sign of the Petitioner to remind the Petitioner of the self that was born as this human and acknowledge its worth. Turn to 479

161

You take a deep breath and throw back your head. ‘Uncle’ you howl, ‘I made it!’ Then, laughing, you fling yourself head first down the hill. You come to earth with a bump. On the horizon is windmill by a small pond, glittering like a diamond beneath a perfect blue bowl of sky. But this is a pastoral angst garden, for, according to your watch, it is 1994 (Year 1)! Astounding little stepchild of God's astounding young stepmother! You suddenly remember: the citizens of the earth have decided it is time to leave the planet. These tired pioneers of Caucasian prophylactics had totally ruined it. Not plants, no animals. Not even humans. Fuck all. The whole population is boarding windmill-shaped shuttles, all going to different planets, thus keeping over-population from occurring. As you look around you notice that millions of hydrogen bombs have been placed on the planet. The moon is no use; it has been destroyed by a stylistic category. Many may not make it. Should you:

·         Stay: Turn to 789

·         Go: Turn to 349

162

You braved the submarine menace of the First World War! You are in a hospital in Hawaii where yours sins are stubborn, your contrition lame; you want your scruples to be worthwhile. You hear a lot of hullabaloo outside. You walk out of the hospital and find that combat aircraft are doing battle with fighter planes. They are very low to the ground, so low that you can see pilot’s moustaches and hear the bitter laughter of beaten men. One of the planes crashes and you can see smoke boiling up from the ground. Blood drips on your head and big toe. You reach out to touch the pilot and he pulls a gun on you. You suddenly realise that such profound acts of magic just seem to happen.  That is because the circumstances that bring them about go unrecognised. Recognition is the key. You pledge to keep yourself informed about matters that affect you - and know what you think about today's key issues, because the system itself brings its own resistance. THE END 

163 

Problems are very sordid. There are some oils that fade expansion markings, but do not believe that they can be deleted, without under the knife to go. However, from your experience her colour will modify. Your hunch was right. Quickly, as she fades out you are in a narrow street. All around you is an endless grey desert of council tower blocks. You can also see a signpost pointing east to Hampstead. You have been arrested for indecent exposure! You will never achieve Hampstead with a criminal record.

164

Your mungofolic senses are too gross with wine and virtue. Disaster comes in only twenty years. Top scientists find that the confusion of the verbal and the visual is but one aspect of confusion of a stylistic category the size of Europe, being pulled right at the planet (the core of which is one big modish magnet.) People are ordered to build underground cities with an avowed contempt for decency and order. And they do. With three weeks to spare, the whole planet is underground, hoping not to be the one the stylistic category hits. For ten years you and Rowenta live happily underground plucking plumes from the parrot. Farmers produce artificial sunlight, and water is harvested from underground rivers. Life is good. The only threat comes from giant mechanical bugs smothered in experience. Your people keep trying to kill them with quantum carpentry but they are too big. Rowenta is smiling broadly, eyes someone up and down, and, you know, remarks, ‘It is lovely to meet you.’ ^ smiles with similar saw tooth friendliness. ‘Yes, lovely’ she echoes. Do you:

Smile: Turn to 873