Drinks go round on a luggage conveyor belt in identical 1 litre (100 centilitre) magni. As members Tayto will pay  244.50 to hire an Bar Kode RFID scanner for 15 minutes, which entitles Tayto to 50% off their third drink between 17:00 and 18:00 weekdays.

Tayto will use the scanner to find out what's in the bottles and how much the most expensive are (some of the bottles contain rat pish, Sinclair ZX Vodka Flavour Cordial, stale milk, defroster, HIVand MD 20 20 as decoys to ward off the great unchipped.)

Members must be surgically implanted with a Bar Kode Verichip RFID tag that entitles them to a glass of hot tap water when they’re full of pills and lets the bouncers know when they’ve run out of money in their bank accounts so that they may be promptly ejected.

If Tayto ever visits Glasgow Prestick International Airport Tayto will be sure to pop in to sample the local culture.