Category Archives: Writing

Hard Ca$h

Hey everyone, we’re back. Lightweight, comfortable. Fine robes. Air unfouled. Ready to absorb. OMG!

So… I ring up a number sent earlier on WeChat; the call goes dead. Then a few clicks – I do the 2-factor thing. The dial tone again. A recording buffers: ‘designed around the health and happiness of people…’ I was left feeling concussed – not by the call, but from repeatedly banging my skull with my phone. Then, after what seemed like a lunchtime, I finally got to hear the teaser for what’s already being PR’d as the most humid new release since Caves of Angry Shockhead.

Word-of-mouth, Hard Ca$h is an elegant read; as instantly invigorating as it is compassionate. A clear, easy-to-follow narrative, each smouldering line of the book’s Press Release presents the faintest of movements – ever nearing some sparkling exercise of exemplary desire – before quickly scuttling back to re-occupy the very same spot where it began. Back on the bottom rung; the only way is up. Spinning Hard Ca$h is a continual quest to unearth the fabled physically abhorrent matter buried deep inside the black box. What makes it so intriguing is what makes it such a difficult read: nobody has yet managed to open the fuggy book.

On my phone, an implied author spends most of our call time revising flashy coincidences found in hoarded dictionaries (maybe ‘hoarded’ is a bit unfair – there are four, just four dictionaries and they are identical) while ironing out the creases in – literally – thousands of one dollar bills. Then she gets back to the normal business of naming every hair on both of her arms. (No spoilers, but the names bare a striking resemblance to the aforementioned coincidences.) This explication is pursued more as a corpus than as a taxonomy, and – hell – that’s what I got, in excruciating detail. The deepfake detail is scalable; I found it most is fascinating on 10:1 but you can go higher if that’s your bag. Gyeah, well, I actually had it at 22:1; didn’t notice TBH – at least not until I got cut off!

The majority of PR relating to Hard Ca$h remains locked away from the reader’s view (member’s only) while some pages of the press release are already out of print. It’s PAYG, so the more cash you splash, the more you comprehend. Three month lease-hold member’s editions of the ur-release are restricted to 56 copies, each is bioencrypted in the DNA of a dead celebrity of your choice*, and probably come with their own unique denouements.

The latest rumours are that Hard Ca$h promises to crystallise its own absorption atmosphere; Willard’s proprietorial carbon-neutral dry peanut-based crystallisation process I hear. I couldn’t check ‘under the page’ – it’s hermetically sealed and jailbreaking…., well, you know what happens if you go there. I imagine that I’d find this ‘atmosorb’ indulgence to be only partially successful; maybe I’ll just never really understand how it sees itself, or perhaps I will be asking all the wrong questions?

*from a preselection of 6 dead B-listers.


For General Distribution: Hard Ca$h is released on all platforms next year reviewed by The Confraternity of Neoflagellants La Confrérie de Neoflagellants [(c)krs] #été MMXXI Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International license MMXX


TABLE MIC: The best thing is…, and this is something I don’t say lightly, the best really is the adversary. Here we have an antagonist that has no perspective, that has no quarry, that is irritating, messy, and that just doesn’t grow. What’s not to like here?

TABLE READER: I love that too, it’s just great. On the surface, this is an impossibly complex book. There is no story, no irrefutable evidence, there are no deeply ancient views to enjoy. That’s pretty clear. But we have to keep re-reading paragraphs just to make sure that there’s really nothing here. As soon as we do, I swear to God, some paragraphs change! This is the great uncertainty, the hairline cracks that we see screaming right through each and every page.

TABLE MIC: Lots of different quirks and habits are demonstrated by – should I say reanimated by…

TABLE READER: [laughs] … by other overladen passages, but the antagonist is never given any autonomy whatsoever by how I’m calling it here, so just doesn’t seem to notice this galvanism happening. ‘Have we met?’

TABLE MIC: Ha, yeah! Yeah. Yeah, we have. There’s the unattributed scene where the same actor literally brings nothing to the table. The rambling monologues, if sometimes baffling companion pieces, hit the only nail on the head so exactly. I’m sure I feel similarly most of the time – we transcend our own limited circumstances, gyeah, but for what? Mysterious exigencies?

TIM BITS: Moving into the next quarter, um… Good initiatives. Back to work everyone! Yum. Mm mmm. Yeah, Tim Bits really are that irresistible. Try them in new lemon or raspberry. Just a dollar ninety-nine for half a ten pack. It’s summer. It’s Time for Tim’s.

It’s Time for Tim’s

TABLE READER: We always get a pack of our flavorite Tim’s bits in. Eh? I can’t get enough of ‘em. I tried, but I can’t. They are more like brothers than collateral kin. Brazen. So, did I mention that I am not usually able to read when flying, I get too caught up of the beguiling reverie of altitude.

TABLE MIC: Gyeah, right, nothing is ever honoured, the real story is all justa buncha lies. But, then again, it’s not like the plot is just there to carry out its own exploits. Everyone is just always uncomfortable, angry – even the legally and medically dead!

TABLE READER: Yup, it’s the ‘ol “living with mother” calamitous subplot device, right?

TABLE MIC: Not quite. The one-note has its own life – here it’s a starter in a shallow Petri dish. It’s not instrumental; the words aren’t so much chosen as grown. It all seems to be shuffling, resilient to the development of memory and so doesn’t suffer from misplaced memories, or, like most of us, what we might nervously call ‘memory corruption’.

TABLE READER: So, the “living with mother” element, is more a ‘living mother’, the ‘starter culture’ of the story here?

TABLE MIC: Yeah, it’s like a Petri dish-growth, a lab grown one-note rather than a complex note left to rot at the back of dark pan cupboard. There’s – out of nowhere – that controversial hard fork in the plot: “…the polite kersplashing. The irregular crowd, lurking in the Crockpot.”

TABLE READER: “…an’ no dust.” Wow. That’s why parsing the smells can be so, so important here. Be they acrid, waxy, sour, briny, phosphorescent, bloody, mossy, cheesy, sticky, sulphurous, new or putrid the smells are invariably described as ‘failed’ rather than “lingering” or “intoxicating”. Sure the Crockpot is an understated believer, always teasing out the simplest of explanations, but this is only so due to careful trail and error. These subtle odours just seep right through a 16K stigma funnel, causing the actor’s different ‘truths’, their own shadowy visions, to collide. The aromas are unholy oracles, the rumbling olfactory organs their rotting neophyte instruments.

TABLE MIC: I feel there are a few more important observations I can add here about the perfumes. One is that the odours are ever eager to herald the “correct” context for the antagonist’s monologues, which are always sure to buffer soon after a change in the wind. It’s as if the fermentations, after pausing for breath, are doing all the work of the plot. The stench is invasive and persuasive; it permeates every page. As grim as a whip, the protagonist is then, like, all just soooooo uncertain about how the fuck they got there: “How does that work? Who’s looking after the kids?” It’s all a bit, you know: ‘I wasn’t sure what to expect from this damn script as I never read it’.

TABLE READER: Ha ha! Sometimes they can’t even be certain about how many oracles there are! We almost have to assign our own subscripts to distinguish roles – I gave out colour coded name tags. The clingy bouquet is not so much intoxicating, it’s more… mismatched; not so much rhubarb and custard as meatloaf gelato or Smell the Truck.

TABLE MIC: Smell the Truck wooo, gee, love that show. Trukin’ Lickin’ Good’! Which leads me to ask: who is cooking here? What is being cooked? It’s only when you look at it all this way that you realise that something’s been stolen.

TABLE READER: Ah, yeah – I didn’t figure that out until after it’d been dramatised.


Review by The Confraternity of Neoflagellants La Confrérie de Neoflagellants [(c)krs] #été MMXXI Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International license MMXX

Stigma funnels

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Love these fun pops of rethreaded neon brown skirting this vibrant trim. Look! They have a life effect of their own; stamping their instant mindset onto every versatile, handy surface. No cheap shallowfake apophenics here. The heroic colour pops are off the bandwidth scale. Each pop differs in each unique sapwood ray, but these scintillating rivulets pose no danger to the overall luxury co-ord vocab of the cellular structure. Pulsating through the xylem, these tense flashes are fizzing the most adulation among the stealthiest of the real-estate community, (but so did misted stripes with murmuring monograms; ≭☖⌧∂≛ππ!)

“lickpot conditions fully percolate out, allowing nonunique excellence options to be easily accessed.”

Need we mention Michael Kors Outlet? Odorous bang-on realtors not your thing? Here’s a heartening revelation: I’m terrified of their whimsical dance; let them be disposable. Bucking antiquated fluro-fossilisation, the re-inventory incubates only the firmest and cleanest lines, cutaenous-inspired gun metal chevrons tinged with optional functions for actually significant living, dining and bedrooming. Not the usual lurid fretless syrup; this packs an unexpectedly dense fibrous bulk, taking the central knot with confidently expensive defiance. Incomprehensible coppicing.

Cellulose-depleted chevrons automatically update as juicy reclining tripods, anisotropically spun from regenerated fibrous molecules. Keeping ahead of what’s relevant, it sinks into the concealed active pathways, sleekly altering the distribution and congelation of pores, to appoint a lurid mob of mortal figures compelled to gnaw the nebulous +T£ip openpiss surface. Smoky, surly, and just w…

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Stigma Funnels from [Your Custom Logo Here] 💱 reviewed by The Confraternity of Neoflagellants La Confrérie de Neoflagellants [(c)krs] #été MMXXI Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International license MMXX

‘Weird studies?’

October 25th-November 3rd 2021

Neil Mulholland, Weird-o-Verse Template (detail), Miro, 2021

A two-week sprint on ‘Weird Studies?’ as part of the MA Contemporary Art Theory programme. ‘Weird Studies?’ participants will attempt to respond to this provocation:

‘”Weird Studies” is a scholarly field that doesn’t and can’t exist. The Weird is that which resists any settled explanation or frame of reference. It is the bulging file labelled “other/misc.” in our mental filing cabinet, full of supernatural entities, magical synchronicities, and occult rites. But it also appears when a work of art breaks in on our habits of perception and ordinary things become uncanny. ‘ …’

I’m aiming to teach the sprint ‘in the open’ (OER) as much as possible.

To begin with, here’s a tentative resource list:

I will update the OER in the MA CAT Programme Website:

Weird Studies OER: MA Contemporary Art Theory, The University of Edinburgh

Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International Neil Mulholland 2021



by The Confraternity of Neoflagellants

Published July 1st 2021

New York, NY, Earth, Milky Way: punctum books, 2021.

208 pages, illus. ISBN-13: 978-1-953035-60-8.

DOI: 10.53288/0304.1.00

🛒 Hardcopy:ρan-ρan U$21.00 in print: paperbound/5 X 8 in

⬇ OPEN-ACCESS e-book:

With the peristaltic gurglings of this gastēr-investigative procedural – a soooo welcomed addition to the ballooning corpus of slot-versatile bad eggs The Confraternity of Neoflagellants (CoN) – [users] and #influencers everywhere will be belly-joyed to hold hands with neomedieval mutter-matter that literally sticks and branches, available from punctum in both frictionless and grip-gettable boke-shaped formats.

A game-changer in Brownian temp-controlled phoneme capture, Pan-Pan’s writhing paginations are completely oxygen-soaked, overwriting the flavour profiles of 2013’s thN Lng folk 2go with no-holds-barred argumentations on all voice-like and lung-adjacent functions. Rumoured by experts to be dead to the World™, CoN has clearly turned its ear canal arrays towards the jabbering OMFG feedback signals from their scores of naive listeners, scrapping all lenticular exegesis and content profiles to construct taped-together vernacular dwellings housing ‘shrooming atmospheric awarenesses and pan-dimensional cross-talkers, making this anticipatory sequel a serious competitor across ambient markets, and a crowded kitchen in its own right.

An utterly mondegreen-infested deep end may deter would-be study buddies from taking the plunge, but feet-wetted Dog Heads eager to sniff around for temporal folds and whiff past the stank of hastily proscribed future fogs ought to ©k no further than the roll-upable-rim of Pan-Pan’s bleeeeeding premodern lagoon. Arrange yersel cannonball-wise or lead with the #gut and you’ll be kersplashing in no times.

About the Author

The Confraternity of Neoflagellants was founded in 2009 by Serjeant-At-Law Norman Hogg and joined by Keeper of the Wardrobe Neil Mulholland. It is a secular and equal opportunities confraternity bound by choreograph.

La Confrérie de Neoflagellants a été fondée en 2009 par le Sergent-At-Law Hogg et rejoint par Gardien des Vêtements Mulholland. Il s’agit d’une confrérie laïque et l’égalité des chances lié par chorégraphe.


ρan-ρan The Confraternity of Neoflagellants La Confrérie de Neoflagellants [(c)krs] #été is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International license.


20.4.21 11:20 BST

A Reflective Practice paper at #OERxDomains21 organised by the Association for Learning Technology @A_L_T in partnership with Reclaim Hosting’s Domains Conference, this special edition of the much loved event is the 12th annual conference for Open Education research, practice and policy.

This paper reflects upon the @eca_edinburgh paragogic OER Contemporary Art & Open Learning that started Sept 2020


Intentional art education today takes diverse organisational forms: traversing small artist-led initiatives, international biennials, art academies and artistic practices. Artistic learning is porous and ubiquitous: it is lifewide: discovered through a wide variety of formal and informal arts contexts. Art education is a distinctly ‘live’, embodied experience. Until the pandemic pivot, there had been few virtual communities of artistic learners. How might artists catalyse the post-Covid recovery of the artworld by engaging with emerging edutech practices such as the open paradigm (Winn 2015), paragogy (Corneli 2011, 2016) and para-academia (Wardrop 2014)?

To partly address these issues, I will reflect on a new course I taught in collaboration with my colleagues Jake Watts, Emma Balkind and Beth Dynowski at Edinburgh College of Art.

Contemporary Art & Open Learning was designed to enable colleagues and art students to open access to artistic learning by peer-producing, codifying and sharing their own learning practices. The OER practised a range of peer-based theories of learning and knowledge production to extend open access into the communal Third Places (Oldenburg 1999) frequently produced by artists. In particular, it promoted ‘paragogics’, learning principles that offer a flexible framework for peer learning.

Embracing the Open Paradigm’s vision of education as a human right might better equip formal art education organisations – such as art schools, workshops and galleries – to fulfil UNESCO’s right to participate in cultural life. However, we must also remember that cultural life is fermented formally and informally. Working together, OERs and people can catalyse the recovery by forming symbiotic colonies of artistic learning and, thus, new artworlds.

Contemporary Art & Open Learning

Corneli, J. and C. J. Danoff (2011). “Synergising Individual Organisational Learning.” Wikiversity.

Corneli, J., et al. (2016). The Peeragogy Handbook., PubDomEd and Pierce Press.

Knox, J. (2013). “Five Critiques of the Open Educational Resources Movement.” Knox , J 2013 , ‘ Five Critiques of the Open Educational Resources Movement ‘ vol. 18 , no. 8 , pp. 821

Oldenburg, R. (199) The Great Good Place: Cafés, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community. Boston: De Capo Press.

Wardrop, A. W., Deborah (eds). (2014). The Para-Academic Handbook: A Toolkit For Making-Learning-Creating-Acting. Bristol, England, HammerOn Press.

Winn, J. (2015). “Open Education and the Emancipation of Academic Labour.” Learning, Media and Technology 40(3): 385-404.

Week 1 | Marginalia on the Educational Turn | Build-a-basho

Contemporary Art & Open Learning >

The Rules of the Game


Collaborative Inquiry

What are the learning resources?

What are workshops?

What is a Crit?

OERs and Paywalls



Edutech Tools

Week 1 – Marginalia on the Educational Turn

Week 1 – Assignment-1-Build-A-Basho™️